Collaborating with Emma

I realise that I have not produced work to the level of the MA through my paintings, however I do believe the photography from the last module is of a good standard, However I missed painting therefore I decided to continue using text within the work but extending into the realm of painting. This has not worked for me.
There is a problem that still exists I need to create/make/do..

Emma my daughter then offered to be a model for this particular module and we decided that we would start off using the mirror as the instrument within the work to begin.

 

 

I not only took images of Emma with the mirror we also emptied the shower room and I introduced a stool for Emma to sit on.

 



 

 

Once I had taken a series of images I then introduced the chair that I sit it whilst using the computer. I could use these images as paintings they are interesting positions.

 



 

Once again I returned to the mirror as a tool, and the images produced I feel have something tangible with the viewer's view point which makes a connection.

 

Once I had introduced the chair into the small space within the shower room and once I had taken images of Emma within the mirror, Emma seemed to develop her own idea of what she felt would make interesting images.

Emma then began to place herself within the space taking control of the images being taken. The chair became part of the work, this piece of furniture not only became a prop but also was integral part of these particular images as the mirror has been in previous images.
  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week there was an incident within my home and the photographs above are quite frightening to look at because of the situation that occured in reality. But without this situation that    occured this images are still disturbing and are something that I believe have a theoritical basis.

 

 
Even without working into this images there is something potent and I believe the viewer will gain insight in these images, there is depth and a sense of the teenage identity that is revealed within this images.

The next two images are photographs which were taken earlier of myself a few weeks ago. The first image is when the ink was running low and I like the lightness and the tonal colours I have used, I have also added pen scribbled onto the figures.

 

 

Again this is another image taken from an earlier session that I took of myself I have printed this image using photography paper and washed over with water and brown water colour was added.

 

 

 

The following images are the worked on images of Emma I have used a variety of inks and pen scratched into the images. In some of these images I have added brighter colours to some of the images I enjoy how they runs over the physical aspect of Emma. I attempted to wash over those put the ink didn't spread.    

 

 

The next few images have been washed over using watercolour inks and I enjoy the contrast of the two figures. I have attempted to use different colours but I don't these particular images work.

 

 

Out of all the images that I have worked on I do prefer the darker colours that I have used, however I like the washed out tonal colours.

 

The last three images that I have added are interesting because they are printed short on ink so they have a lighter washed out feel and the colour is a blandish blue result, The colours added are brighter and interesting. I do feel this last session and the work I added to the images have pushed the work further on than it had been a few months ago.

Angela asked if Emma would her opinion on this collaboration and Emma agreed and below is her statement. 

  

 

Emma’s Statement

          I’m used to my Mum doing art, and over the years she has sometimes used.

          The photos taken of me were taken in my Mum’s shower room, it’s a small room and it has a full length mirror which used to belong to our old neighbour in East Sussex, he died this year and I miss him, but the

mirror reminds me of Norman each time I look into it. I also have a picture of me and him from when I was little.

          I hate my picture being taken especially at parties, as I don’t like the way I look and I always feel really uncomfortable.

          I don’t really know why I offered to take part in these photos it but it didn’t bother me because I don’t know really know the people who are on this course and my mum needed me to do it so that she could pass her course.

I liked how my mum said that I could wear what I liked but I only put a small amount of make up on.

Mum cleared the shower room, and I started off by sitting on a stool and Mum took images of me where my reflection could be seen. Then Mum brought her chair into the room, and I sat on that and let Mum take the pictures. I then got a bit bored of just sitting so that’s when I thought I would go onto the floor.

The photos of me are okay, I prefer them in black and white and they are better after Mum has worked into them because me makes me

look sullen. I like the way my eyes look big.

The photos of me on the floor makes me look boxed in as if I can’t escape, I think these photos show a teenager who has lots to say but doesn’t or can’t because she is experiencing different things every day and sometimes too many things happen so she feels closed in.

Also these photos are about girls who feel they will never be cool and yet there are bits about them that are good but they are made to feel that they will never completely fit in by their peers.

 

 

I have found Emma's statement really interesting, and what she has written is quite an eye opener, I do agree with what Emma has stated especially the last two paragraphs. She is experiencing so many things and the next few years there will be many times when she will have to make choices, some will be the right choices and some will be choices that she will regret, but these are all things that she has to experience.

 

Art and Identity

After taking photographs of the wedding I felt inspired to return to taking photographs of myself using the mirror and self portraiture and in the images I had to consider not of 'How do I look? Rather I was considering how I could represent myself at that moment in time, without using text.

I was inspired to create these images after reading about an exhibition called Mother's Pride:Mother's Ruin 1977 - 1978 by Tricia Davis and Phil Goodall. Taken from the book Framing Feminism: Art and the Women's Movement 1970-1985 by Rozsika Parker and Griselda Pollock. Published 1987 by Harper Collins Publishers.

Section IV Strategies of Feminism,Chapter 9.'Personally and Politically: feminist art practice'

"This exhibition sets out to explore visually some of the ways in which our experience as women is structured through education, employment and domesticity, and some responses to these structures." (1987:293).

What I found fascinating about this exhibition is the description of the processes of the work, the aspects of many of our lives as women, this exhibition makes us draw on our experiences and the issues of being a women. We are collages of our roles within society and its an impact on ourselves as well as others.

These photographs are of me wearing an evening gown that is too large and doesn't fit my body especially ill fitting due to that fact I am not wearing a bra and the images look intimate, however I know that these images are not enough, when considering the work I created within the last module.   

The work in this module has been based around Chapter 10 of Art & Today by Eleanor Heartney called 'Art and Identity'.
This is an area that has always been underlying my work throughout this MA.
Within my work the complex issue of identity and/or identity association is continously being changed and the work alters due to how I explore the issues that develops and moulds my identity taking into account issues within a life time that creates another facet within the cover of identity as discussed in the chapter 'Art and Identity' Heartley discusses the difficulty in exploring identity.

"A more nuanced understanding of identity association. These phases, which may overlap and recur from one movement and one individual to the next, are also reflected in art that emphasises identity, either by celebrating, questioning or recognising it as something that that is ultimately and always hybrid". (2008:242).

The idea of identity is so broad and complex and within my work it can be difficult to justify why identity would interest me because I am not in a minority, however the more I become interested within this area I realise that its influences that create and expand our individual identities.

In the book The Art of Reflection by Marsha Meskimmon she states that "We are formed by an elaborate interweaving of identifications with socially defined roles and expectations.. Furthermore, we may experience contradictory positions within ourselves, some of the roles we 'play' may themselves define us in contradictory ways." (1996:13).

Therefore I began to work into the images using a sharp needle, ink and felt tip, biro, chalk and then added water as well.

I have extended the materials using coffee and acrylic paint working into the images, furthermore I have used not only photographic paper but white card as well.

The results of using these different mediums onto the original photographs and then using photoshop just to brighten and contrast has added extra depth to the images.


Furthermore I have been given a vast amount of watercolour inks which are in glass bottles with pipettes and I have been experimenting with these materials.  

I think I am attempting to create work that refuses a stable definition of identity because I am more inclined to regard identity as a complex of overlaying roles within the society in which we live and our private expectations as well as public expectations, these are mixed and thread through which removes the idea of a static definition of identity.

  

Studio Practice

This particular module has started with an interesting lecture from Emma Bulley in which she discusses the limitations of art practice and the relationship we as artists with the wider society? Emma asks the question as an artist 'Can you change social structures and the hearts and minds of people?'

I hope that as an artist that I can show how I respond to the world and with this visual imagery create a debate that has a positive response on the society in which we live.
We as artists have a moral responsibility because our work has an impact once we release into into the public realm.
    
Furthermore Emma discussed the studio as a physical space, as a cave in which things are brought back to materials or ideas. Also when we work as artists we go into a 'State of flow' which is important within our artist practice, in our techniques and our conceptual approach and in the medium in which we work produces this state.

Within the tutorial that Emma and I had, we discussed the work I had produced in the last module which was interesting and very positive, however I have struggled to move on from the images that I had produced. So I have stepped away and concentrated on which books could be of interest to me throughout this module and began to look at artist's work.
I have become interested in the work of Paula Rego (b.1935)
especially the 'she dog's' series.

Dog Woman 1994, Pastel on canvas

Inspired by a story a friend had written for her, Paula Rego draws her Dog Woman in pastels, referencing the raw physicality of Degas’drawings. “To be a dog woman is not necessarily to be downtrodden; that has very little to do with it,” She explained, “In these pictures every woman's a dog woman, not downtrodden, but powerful. To be bestial is good. It's physical. Eating, snarling, all activities to do with sensation are positive. To picture a woman as a dog is utterly believable."

http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/artists/paula_rego.htm - Accessed 06.06.2012

Taking this image into consideration and the work I have produced in the last module I have attempted to create a painting.

I realise that this particular image isn't great, and yet there places of interest, my face is not an accurate reflection which is something that I am glad about, the whole piece is quite grimy and blurred, only the eyes stand out within the face.
I look almost constipated and quite uncomfortable, squat and uncomfortable, I believe I look abit like a hen. There is an animal essence to the work.
When creating this work I decided that I would not perfectly sketch and fit my body into the canvas properly, I created a blurred evasive image. 

I have written on the dress, the writing explores why I feel different and how I define myself this writing is for myself and does not necessary need to be read by the viewer, and yet can be decifered, once again I am exploring my identity gently within this image.

I would like to explore and develop this work more, I missed painting during the last module and that is why I am interested in using this medium during this module.

Strangeland by Tracey Emin

I have just finished the book 'Strangeland' by Tracey Emin copyright 2005 by Hodder and Stoughton.

This book is based on her memoirs and confessions of this artist, her accounts are incredibly frank, disturbing and yet there is a sensitivity that lurks beneath the words. Furthermore there are elements of humour which lightens the work.

Tracey Emin finishes this book with the sentence "I found a way to visit without fear, exorcising all ghosts from the past to fill my mind with something mind-blowing. DON'T BE AFRAID TO TAKE THE PAST HEAD ON." (2005:213)

I felt there was truth within this statement, however I believe that once you have taken on the past, forgiven yourself and others around you, and hopefully learnt from those experiences you can then go on to witness life moment to moment, and my work does look at myself at this moment time and situations in a deeper level.

'Pissed People as Company' I have created a piece of work which I do think has been influenced by reading the book 'Strangeland' by Tracey Emin, because I started this piece straight after finishing the book.

This piece relates to what happens on the weekends in the early hours as people wander home from clubs and pubs, these people are usually drunk and vocal.
When I first moved into this area I used to be quite frightened but now I find it quite welcoming at times. In fact it's at times like this I enjoy listening to their rabbling conversations, it feels voyeutistic as I secretly react to their conversations, by laughing or remembering times when I have been in their situations, furthermore I do feel alone and these people for a short period of time are company in a strange way.

The background writing states "I see the pissed lovers walking home from the pub they shout scream physically touch hit punch kiss grab love loudly these people enter my home their noise reassures me that I am still here I am part of this society here I connect it's at times like this I miss my past life my youth I felt as if I needed the reassurance of being drunk and loudly emotional that wasn't what I needed yet I believed that was who I really was now I know that was never really me." 

The reason I am in strange and awkward position is because I wanted the image of myself to be difficult and strange and yet I wanted this piece to be friendly but odd. I roughly sketched the image of myself using a pen and then I painted over the top of these marks. I haven't created a complex and detailed imagery of myself perfectly drawn and flawlessly painted and anatomical perfect. This particular piece is about the flawed aspects of behaviour. 
So as a female artist I recognise that I have used my own body as an 'object' within the piece, I have represented myself as someone who is intruding in a voyeuristic manner into someone else's world at that moment in time, yet in a way that reflects no shame as the face stares out to the viewer almost suggesting that the viewer could come and join.

Over the last month or so the issues regarding Emma Bulley's situation within the MA and the difficulty of this particular module has affected my work dramatically. Compounding this is the dramatic situation that is occurring in my workplace and will adversely affect my home life and the time that I will have left to work on the MA.
These situations are all political and terribly painful and I am depressed and I have struggled to produce work. However I did create a piece of work which is I hoped would reflect how complex and it was an expression of needing help or rather an acknowledgement of how overwhelming everything is....

Therefore the elements within the piece are possibly too literal.

The elements reflect the amount of research, time in the pile of books, the crutches I use but struggle with which is the smoking, glass of wine the amount of tablets I am taking in attempt to keep level.

Furthermore I have included the domestic duties that I have to do to maintain the home as well has the second job I have in attempt to financially survive.

As I have stated my work situation is horrendous at the moment so elements of my main job has been brought into the work, because I really wanted to include as much as I could and to draw attention to these elements.

The final piece is vibrant overcrowded probably overly explicit in what I am trying to reflect to the viewer, however I recognised that this piece would not be recieved positively in all its aspects by the MA, due to the fact the elements are too obvious and they would prefer these elements to be more obscure and far less literal.

Last term I produced alot of photography in which I wrote onto my body and I for all of these images I only had to state what inspired me, for instance a particular text from the Bible.

I have attempted to continue using text within the work because I personally thought that it added another elemenet to the work within the elements of painting however this has caused more complex conversations and questions.
Therefore I attempted to rework this particular piece and it became a complete mess and I wasted a lot of valuable time, and I rarely do not show work that has failed or that I am not happy about, but that was the last straw for me at this particular time and I became ill which did not help issues therefore the painting has been destroyed and I withdrew from the MA so that I could concentrate and prioritise other areas in my life.

During this period of not being able to engage with the MA I was asked to be a photographer at a wedding. I do not have much experience regarding photography or cameras, on the day of the wedding I had one hour's training using a Nikon macro camera and I was thrown completely into the deep end.

This image was taken in the registry office waiting room which was a very difficult room in which to take any photographs which reflected a wedding, therefore this image has had good comments due to the fact I have captured the groom and bride in an intimate space.

This photograph was taken after the wedding vows had been exchanged and after the signing of the registry book, the room in which the wedding had taken place was very difficult due to the skylight and it was a very bright day so there was only light or darkness no between. It was a interesting room in which to work, and this image that I managed to capture has recieved positive comments.



Mother's Pride:Mother's Ruin an exhibition 1977 - 1978 by Tricia Davis and Phil Goodall.

Taken from the book Framing Feminism: Art and the Women's Movement 1970-1985 by Rozsika Parker and Griselda Pollock. Published 1987 by Harper Collins Publishers.

Section IV Strategies of Feminism,Chapter 9.

'Personally and Politically: feminist art practice'

"This exhibition sets out to explore visually some of the ways in which our experience as women is structured through education, employment and domesticity, and some responses to these structures." (1987:293).

What I found fascinating about this exhibition is the description of the processes of the work, the aspects of many of our lives as women, this exhibition makes us draw on our experiences and the issues of being a women. We are collages of our roles within society and its an impact on ourselves as well as others.