I hope that as an artist that I can show how I respond to the world and with this visual imagery create a debate that has a positive response on the society in which we live.
We as artists have a moral responsibility because our work has an impact once we release into into the public realm.
Furthermore Emma discussed the studio as a physical space, as a cave in which things are brought back to materials or ideas. Also when we work as artists we go into a 'State of flow' which is important within our artist practice, in our techniques and our conceptual approach and in the medium in which we work produces this state.
Within the tutorial that Emma and I had, we discussed the work I had produced in the last module which was interesting and very positive, however I have struggled to move on from the images that I had produced. So I have stepped away and concentrated on which books could be of interest to me throughout this module and began to look at artist's work.
I have become interested in the work of Paula Rego (b.1935)
especially the 'she dog's' series.
Dog Woman 1994, Pastel on canvas
Inspired by a story a friend had written for her, Paula Rego draws her Dog Woman in pastels, referencing the raw physicality of Degas’drawings. “To be a dog woman is not necessarily to be downtrodden; that has very little to do with it,” She explained, “In these pictures every woman's a dog woman, not downtrodden, but powerful. To be bestial is good. It's physical. Eating, snarling, all activities to do with sensation are positive. To picture a woman as a dog is utterly believable."
http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/artists/paula_rego.htm
- Accessed 06.06.2012
Taking this image into consideration and the work I have produced in the last module I have attempted to create a painting.
I realise that this particular image isn't great, and yet there places of interest, my face is not an accurate reflection which is something that I am glad about, the whole piece is quite grimy and blurred, only the eyes stand out within the face.
I look almost constipated and quite uncomfortable, squat and uncomfortable, I believe I look abit like a hen. There is an animal essence to the work.
When creating this work I decided that I would not perfectly sketch and fit my body into the canvas properly, I created a blurred evasive image.
I have written on the dress, the writing explores why I feel different and how I define myself this writing is for myself and does not necessary need to be read by the viewer, and yet can be decifered, once again I am exploring my identity gently within this image.
I would like to explore and develop this work more, I missed painting during the last module and that is why I am interested in using this medium during this module.
Strangeland by Tracey Emin
I have just finished the book 'Strangeland' by Tracey Emin copyright 2005 by Hodder and Stoughton.
This book is based on her memoirs and confessions of this artist, her accounts are incredibly frank, disturbing and yet there is a sensitivity that lurks beneath the words. Furthermore there are elements of humour which lightens the work.
Tracey Emin finishes this book with the sentence "I found a way to visit without fear, exorcising all ghosts from the past to fill my mind with something mind-blowing. DON'T BE AFRAID TO TAKE THE PAST HEAD ON." (2005:213)
I felt there was truth within this statement, however I believe that once you have taken on the past, forgiven yourself and others around you, and hopefully learnt from those experiences you can then go on to witness life moment to moment, and my work does look at myself at this moment time and situations in a deeper level.
'Pissed People as Company' I have created a piece of work which I do think has been influenced by reading the book 'Strangeland' by Tracey Emin, because I started this piece straight after finishing the book.
This piece relates to what happens on the weekends in the early hours as people wander home from clubs and pubs, these people are usually drunk and vocal.
When I first moved into this area I used to be quite frightened but now I find it quite welcoming at times. In fact it's at times like this I enjoy listening to their rabbling conversations, it feels voyeutistic as I secretly react to their conversations, by laughing or remembering times when I have been in their situations, furthermore I do feel alone and these people for a short period of time are company in a strange way.
The background writing states "I see the pissed lovers walking home from the pub they shout scream physically touch hit punch kiss grab love loudly these people enter my home their noise reassures me that I am still here I am part of this society here I connect it's at times like this I miss my past life my youth I felt as if I needed the reassurance of being drunk and loudly emotional that wasn't what I needed yet I believed that was who I really was now I know that was never really me."
The reason I am in strange and awkward position is because I wanted the image of myself to be difficult and strange and yet I wanted this piece to be friendly but odd. I roughly sketched the image of myself using a pen and then I painted over the top of these marks. I haven't created a complex and detailed imagery of myself perfectly drawn and flawlessly painted and anatomical perfect. This particular piece is about the flawed aspects of behaviour.
So as a female artist I recognise that I have used my own body as an 'object' within the piece, I have represented myself as someone who is intruding in a voyeuristic manner into someone else's world at that moment in time, yet in a way that reflects no shame as the face stares out to the viewer almost suggesting that the viewer could come and join.
Over the last month or so the issues regarding Emma Bulley's situation within the MA and the difficulty of this particular module has affected my work dramatically. Compounding this is the dramatic situation that is occurring in my workplace and will adversely affect my home life and the time that I will have left to work on the MA.
These situations are all political and terribly painful and I am depressed and I have struggled to produce work. However I did create a piece of work which is I hoped would reflect how complex and it was an expression of needing help or rather an acknowledgement of how overwhelming everything is....
Therefore the elements within the piece are possibly too literal.
The elements reflect the amount of research, time in the pile of books, the crutches I use but struggle with which is the smoking, glass of wine the amount of tablets I am taking in attempt to keep level.
Furthermore I have included the domestic duties that I have to do to maintain the home as well has the second job I have in attempt to financially survive.
As I have stated my work situation is horrendous at the moment so elements of my main job has been brought into the work, because I really wanted to include as much as I could and to draw attention to these elements.
The final piece is vibrant overcrowded probably overly explicit in what I am trying to reflect to the viewer, however I recognised that this piece would not be recieved positively in all its aspects by the MA, due to the fact the elements are too obvious and they would prefer these elements to be more obscure and far less literal.
Last term I produced alot of photography in which I wrote onto my body and I for all of these images I only had to state what inspired me, for instance a particular text from the Bible.
I have attempted to continue using text within the work because I personally thought that it added another elemenet to the work within the elements of painting however this has caused more complex conversations and questions.
Therefore I attempted to rework this particular piece and it became a complete mess and I wasted a lot of valuable time, and I rarely do not show work that has failed or that I am not happy about, but that was the last straw for me at this particular time and I became ill which did not help issues therefore the painting has been destroyed and I withdrew from the MA so that I could concentrate and prioritise other areas in my life.
During this period of not being able to engage with the MA I was asked to be a photographer at a wedding. I do not have much experience regarding photography or cameras, on the day of the wedding I had one hour's training using a Nikon macro camera and I was thrown completely into the deep end.
This image was taken in the registry office waiting room which was a very difficult room in which to take any photographs which reflected a wedding, therefore this image has had good comments due to the fact I have captured the groom and bride in an intimate space.
Mother's Pride:Mother's Ruin an exhibition 1977 - 1978 by Tricia Davis and Phil Goodall.
Taken from the book Framing Feminism: Art and the Women's Movement 1970-1985 by Rozsika Parker and Griselda Pollock. Published 1987 by Harper Collins Publishers.
Section IV Strategies of Feminism,Chapter 9.
'Personally and Politically: feminist art practice'
"This exhibition sets out to explore visually some of the ways in which our experience as women is structured through education, employment and domesticity, and some responses to these structures." (1987:293).
What I found fascinating about this exhibition is the description of the processes of the work, the aspects of many of our lives as women, this exhibition makes us draw on our experiences and the issues of being a women. We are collages of our roles within society and its an impact on ourselves as well as others.
